Queen Of Dirt

And by lottery, I mean Jen Aniston. And by hit, I meanbusiness time.

I have been trying to figure out the je ne sais pas quality that he posseses that lures hot women to him like flies to a Venus Fly Trap but I just haven’t been able to figure it out yet. Sure he’s attractive and seems funny and has one or two songs I can tolerate but he also seems like a total douche and really??? A guy who can’t perform without making a series of O-face-meets-colonoscopy? And he dated Jessica Simpson.

I could never take a guy seriously who dated Jessica Simpson.

I mean, did you see Nick and Jessica: Newlyweds? Cause I did.

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